The Eight Reactions to Conflict (Classroom Exercise)

The Eight Reactions to Conflict

Joan has just about had it. School was cancelled and she has been aggravated by her children all day. Her environmental action group, which had to meet at her house since she couldn’t get a sitter, had a long and frustrating afternoon meeting.

Henry had been looking forward all day to relaxing at home and having a leisurely evening with Joan. His staff at the office bungled an important assignment, and he has been blamed. Traffic was almost gridlocked coming home. He stopped at the supermarket, but in the 10-items-and-under checkout line a lady behind him began shouting when she saw Henry had 11 items.

He arrives home, looks around at the mess—the environmental action group is against littering but not in his living room—and snaps at Joan: “I don’t get it. With nothing else to do all day, except talk with your airhead friends, how can you be such a sloppy housekeeper?”

Assume you are Joan, and rank the following replies in order of your preference. Mark you most preferred response at #1, # 2, # 3, etc.

---“Well, why don’t we clean it up together—if a little messiness turns you into a monster.”

---“I’d be neater if you acted more like a real father and took the kids off my hands once in a while.”

---“Did you have a rough day at the office, sweet dear?”

--- Say nothing. Assume it will all blow over.

---“I get angry when you accuse me unfairly. I’ve had at least as hard a day as you. I think it’s time we discussed sharing household responsibilities more.”

---“If that’s the nicest thing you can say, I’m leaving! I’ll be next door at Sharon’s until you calm down and grow up—whichever comes first, and probably neither.”

---“Give me another 10 minutes and it will all be cleaned up.”

---“Joey! Get off the floor and wash your filthy hands before dinner.”

And your own response?